Our Hero Meets His Windmill

For those of you unfamiliar with the tale of the man after whom this blog is named, at one point in the story, Don Quixote, the great romantic adventurer, the saver of maidens in distress, “the man” of La Mancha - and a bit of loon - meets and engages in epic battle with his nemesis, which he believes to be an evil giant but which is, in reality, a windmill. He loses. Well, my friends, in a bit of literary irony, I myself have met and been conquered by my windmill. And its name is Blog.

My tale ends more or less thusly...

Over my recent Christmas holiday, I and my girlfriend, visiting from abroad, traveled about to a great number of splendid places. Over hill and under dale, we frolicked about and “did what.” (Uganglish for “hung out.”) Those travels were posted on a blog, which was read by Peace Corps, which landed the hinny of yours truly squarely on the proverbial hotseat. You see, a Peace Corps Volunteer, even on his own free time, even when his organization’s office is closed, must seek permission from Peace Corps to leave his assigned community. I did not.

I find the genesis of my demise somewhat ironic given my pre-Peace Corps attitude on blogs. If you’ll refer to my initial post, I have always been somewhat suspect of the blogosphere. I decided to engage in this exercise in personal publicity only after contemplating what I thought would be my reality here in Uganda in terms of the means of correspondence at my disposal. I have to admit, I’ve come to enjoy having this excuse - and this vehicle - to express myself in a open forum, but I still find it ironic that, given my initial reservations, it was a blog that become the beginning of my Peace Corps end.

Anyways, back to our hero’s story…

After being summoned to Kampala to meet with Peace Corps to explain myself, and after submitting a statement in my defense, I hunkered down and awaited the decision of the powers that be. I despised my exile to Peace Corps Purgatory and waiting for the final verdict was agonizing. It was nearly three weeks I spent in that limbo; the verdict was long in coming. But for that, I do not feel aggrieved. My case was complex.

The rule in question was one about which I’d already expressed to Peace Corps staff my misgivings and even outright contempt. I’ll spare you the philosophy (although will be happy to share with any interested seeker my thoughts about request). Suffice it to say that I felt absolutely no contrition with regards to my actions themselves. And I said so as part of what I consider to be an articulate, well reasoned, and thoughtful statement to my superiors. I am not predisposed to break rules for the sake of breaking rules. I am no rebel, I have a cause. And I won’t speak mistruths just to get what I want. While I believe my honesty was appreciated, my overall posture, I’m afraid, was not. Add to that the fact that my entire training group had been put on notice after half our number were discovered to be away from their sites without permission not two weeks pervious, and my prospects were decidedly bleak.

At the same time, dismissing an otherwise model volunteer is no insignificant act. Taking the accused transgressor’s own personal interests out of the equation, there is the fact that the recruiting, transporting, and training of a volunteer represents a substantial investment of money and time. And while letting a rule-breaker off the hook may make it more difficult to effectively enforce that rule going forward, at the same time, to expel that rule-breaker in hopes of maintaining credibility is also an act that deprives a blameless community of a volunteer. It is a complex question with no good answers. Putting he who administers my little corner of the Peace Corps universe in a position where he had make such a decision was something I did lament, was something about which I did feel sorrow and regret. And I said that in my statement, too.

Ultimately, I was given a choice. I could resign, or I could stay. But I could stay only if I agreed to conditions that, in my opinion, were wholly unacceptable at best, and altogether inappropriate at worse. Again, I’ll spare you the philosophy (although, once again, interested seekers need only inquire within). Suffice it to say that both my sense of principal and my concern with my own day-to-day sanity and ability to be effective at work made the choice I was given a false one.

And so my Quixotic Adventure to the Source of de Nile comes to an abrupt and early conclusion. While I am deeply troubled and critical of the rule that was my undoing, I hold no ill will towards any of the Peace Corps staff here in Uganda. I knew the rule. And while I never imagined my conscientious objection to that rule would come to this, I respect completely Peace Corps staff’s right and obligation to enforce their policies as they see fit. I am pleased to report that I depart Peace Corps having formed a strong mutual respect with my aforementioned administrator and with each of us sincerely wishing the other all the best as our paths diverge.

As for what’s next, I’m not sure. I’m debating two options. The first involves tapping my Bachelor’s Degree in Economics. I got great grades in Economics back in the day and can draw some absolutely killer graphs. I thought I might lock myself in a closet full of text books, notepads, a few mechanical pencils, and a headlamp, and not let myself out until I solve the riddle of the capitalist business cycle and resurrect our poor nation’s economy. The second involves running a Ugandan food cart in downtown Denver.

Before I shut this bloggy thingy down for good, I intend to post one more entry. While I didn’t ask for my Peace Corps misadventure to end now and in this way, I am nonetheless at “peace” with this outcome and feel like I got a great deal out of the experience. I learned a lot about how people go about their work and play at the other end of the global economic spectrum and I found out a lot about myself in the process. I think I came up with some new theories about life, which are probably total crap, but they’re mine and I like them. I think I’ll try to organize all that abstraction in my grey matter and then, after realizing it’s all ridiculous, starting over, and coming up with something totally different, dump it all out on virtual paper as a capstone of sorts. Aren’t you excited?!